(MOD POST) Happy Birthday Park Jungsoo! @special1004

Dear Jungsoo,

I know you won’t be able to read this, but I’ll still take my chances. Happy 35th birthday to you! I emphasized your age because I wanted you to know that it’s my birthdate. LOL!

Sorry for the lack of preparation because I’ve been busy these past few weeks, but never did I forget about writing you a letter for your birthday. Last year, do you remember that I wrote and composed a song for you? I know that you were not able to listen to it but still, I am proud because it’s my first ever composition. You must be so proud. And one day, you’ll be able to hear it. This year, well, I’m writing a long letter because it’s how we like it, right? Hehe. I wasn’t able to prepare a lot for this year; things happened, but it’s the thought that counts, right?

How do I start this? Hmm… I don’t really know how to begin. My mind is blank as of this moment, but I know in my heart that I have a lot of things to say to you. I think, the first one is that… I want to thank you for the inspiration for the past eight years. I must admit that you are not the most perfect person on the planet, and I even bash you at times (jokingly, of course), but I don’t know… it’s just that I am so infatuated with you. I just love you for who you are. I disliked the mistakes that you did in the past, the tweet that you erased which was really, really painful, you know? It’s the first tweet that I’ve ever cried my heart out. Haha! And the things that you said that really hurt me and other fans as well. But guess what – I still love you. I do think that you poisoned me with your charms, whatever your charms are. I do think that it’s about your sincerity, your honesty and your passion that made me stay by your side all these years.

I thank you for being the leader of Super Junior. A friend to each member. I believe that you’re friends with all of them. Yes, you’re close with other members more, but I really believe your heart is with all of them. You may disagree with them at times, or even have conflicts, petty or deep, but you still love them. If not, would you still be a Super Junior member? Would you be a Super Junior leader? You could be an emcee and/or a host, because you’re best at that. You’re not the best singer nor dancer in the group yet you chose to be Super Junior. It’s one of your admirable traits – the reason why I fell for you in the first place. The reason that made me say that – this is my favorite person – my ultimate bias, my love, my ideal person, my heart, my soul, my sky. I thank you for being so strong for the group despite of the obstacles that you are facing right now.

I know that you’re also doubting yourself, or doubting about things in general. It happens, and I do not blame you for that. I know at times that you don’t want to continue, that you want to give up on some things. Thank you for making sacrifices – even if it was not for your own happiness. Sometimes I wish that you just take that path and no matter what decisions you’ll make, no matter what you want to do, no matter what you think, I will forever support you.

When you were in the army, you’ve been through a lot. I didn’t initially want to mention this, but I want to prove one point that I am also thankful for. I don’t know, and I will never know how much you suffered that time. I don’t know why also, but I have an idea. I will never know your feelings. I will never know what you think. I will never probably experience your grief. It was the perfect way to give up, for some – but I sincerely thank you for not giving up. Not giving up on life is your best gift to me. I can’t promise that I will be physically there – God knows I want to, but we’re star-crossed. We’re friends, virtual friends – and you don’t know me. But I want to protect you. I won’t say that I will protect you no matter what it takes – I can’t do that. But I promise you that I’ll protect you in any way that I can. It’s my payback for you not giving up on life.

I have a lots of things to thank you for, but I cannot tell everything at once – so I just want to say thank you for everything.

I also have a lot of things to say sorry to you. You were not my first favorite member in Super Junior, but you remained the longest. You like loyal people, right? Hehe! I don’t know if I am still considered loyal after liking other groups aside from Super Junior, despite of the fact that I promised you that I won’t love anyone else but you and Super Junior. I am sorry for that. I am sorry for holding you back. I am a fan and I know that being one of your fans, even if you don’t know me at all, I am still one of the reasons why you’re holding something back.

I also wish for you to become healthy always. You’ve been overworking yourself, and I know that you are a workaholic who works even during vacation. If that’s what you happy then I’ll support you for that, but please take care of yourself. Take care of your health. I don’t know what I’ll do if you do not take care of yourself or if anything bad happens to you. I know fans and friends and loved ones won’t like it too.

Do not change just because people want you to change. Please change only if you want to change – change positively for yourself. I don’t honestly care if you’re different from Leeteuk – the man in front of the camera, the man in front of the fans, the leader of Super Junior. People love you for who you are. Do not doubt about that.

Please do not take what the haters say to heart. We are your barriers so just look at us. Do not look outside your barriers. We are your friends, your family. We got your back, your front and your side.

All I really want is your happiness. You cannot always be happy, but I wish you to be happy most of the time. Whatever things would make you happy – I’m for it.

Lastly, I wish that you remain the same person with so many dreams and with a strong will to achieve those dreams, the person who works hard to achieve those dreams.

It’s kind of funny, because I still don’t know how I feel about you because it’s been so long. At times I do think that I love you as a person, and as a man, but I don’t think it’s the case because as I mentioned before, maybe I was just in love with Leeteuk, and not Jungsoo – your true self. But whether you are Leeteuk or Jungsoo, or whatever people call you, I still love you for you. I will continue to do so. I will continue to hold your hand and never let go because even if people come, it’s still you.

Again, happy birthday to you! Hope you have a great day, the best leader, my ultimate crush, my Sky, Park Jungsoo! I love you very much.


(MOD POST) Happy Day Leeteuk!

Only an hour left and I hope it is not yet too late… Actually I am already late, but it is still 11pm in my country! LMAO

Also, this isn’t a short message so if you have something else to do… especially if it is urgent and important, skip this blog post. This is literally very long message to the birthday man, my most favorite man on earth.

Dear Jungsoo,

How are you? It’s been a long time since I last wrote you a message like this. As far as I could remember, last year, I wrote a very short message to you… that was because you still weren’t out yet from the army… or you are, but not officially. Anyway, I just want to greet you a happy happy birthday and even though it’s already late, I hope you were able to celebrate your birthday this year well.

To be honest, I really have a lot of things I wanted to say to you because you are already out from the army and there is a chance, although it’s just a small chance, that you will be able to read my message to you. Actually, I cannot begin it. Shall I start with the wishes? The apologies? The promises? The commitments?

I am very much aware that this is only the sixth year of me celebrating your birthday this grand… I remember, my first birthday blog post was for Heechul’s, so I skipped yours, although I already knew Super Junior a year before. So… that makes it seven years total of loving the best leader, the leader of Super Junior.

I don’t know why I am still holding on though, even though for several times, I’ve attempted to stop and let go. I wasn’t able to. I was, I think, very emotionally attached to Super Junior and most especially to you, Leeteuk. For almost seven years, I’ve become a Teuk-biased ELF and until now, although it’s a bit seldom, I am still a Teuk-biased. It is not a secret, however, that I am slowly… slowly drifting away from the group. I find it very interesting that the reason why I am still an ELF is because of you. Probably, I’ve changed a lot, and I’ve changed as an ELF and as a Teuk-biased ELF. I rarely follow everything Super Junior, though I am still aware of the activities, just not like before. But everytime I see you, I say to myself, “Oh, I remember that time when I am still as active as others… I remember spazzing about everything that you do… I remember disliking your inconsiderate actions… I remember being delusional about your ‘replies’ to my blog.” Everything just returns everytime I see you so I am very thankful.

There is really something about you that makes me react dfferently. I still have that excitement, nervousness and happiness whenever I see your photos, videos, tweets, posts, and most especially your TV appearances. Your presence makes me fall in love with you over and over again. I still don’t know if it’s the same love that I will experience in real-life because no matter how much I think I do, I am still taken aback by the fact that you are an artist, albeit from another country, and I am just one of your million fans who patiently waits for you to notice. It is painful, but as I said before, I think it’s a part of being your fan. Being in love with your character as Leeteuk. That insecurity makes me sad, but I never regret anything. From knowing you to becoming your fan, from randomly watching you in Youtube to seeing your concerts… All of them, I cherish and I never regret.

Probably the only thing that I regret the most is not seeing you last time when I have the chance to see you. To be honest, I cried non-stop for five days straight, pleading and begging to my parents for them to let me watch you. It is still hurtful and I am still disappointed with myself for not seeing you. I know that it is my one and only chance and it sucks. But then I… I decided on my own, to book a trip to Korea to see you. It is my main reason. The others are just secondary reasons but I keep on repeating and emphasizing that I want to go to Korea because I really want to see you. If it is fated for me to meet you, even if there is only a minimal possibility, the chances are, we would meet again. So I booked a flight to Korea tomorrow, July 2.

However, another unfortunate thing happened. After passing my visa requirements and getting the visa itself, after planning my itinerary and booking everything, a news spread that MERS become a threat to my visit. I thought, “Why does God not let me go to Korea?” I feel bad. Very bad that I keep on searching for MERS news until today. Supposedly, tomorrow is my flight so that I can celebrate your birthday, but… I am an obedient daughter. Even if I want to go, I rebooked my flight.

But of course, I am happy that I was able to schedule my flight on November 5-8! Yes, I can go to Super Junior’s 10th Anniversary party, if there is! I think it is a hidden blessing, because my main agenda is to see you and make me relive the past of really getting into you…

I know, I have a lot of promises that I broke… I am deeply sorry for that. I am also sorry for being missing in action about SuJu, but I want to tell you that even if I am very busy, I still keep myself updated about you. Seeing the members, and of course, you, make me stay stronger and happier, so I am thankful for that.

I am also thankful that for all these years, you never gave up and you let Super Junior shine. Thank you for being a very awesome and dedicated leader that your members love you very much. Thank you for being stronger everyday.

Jungsoo, I really want to see you. I really do, so I will do my best to see you.

I promise.

I also promise that no matter what happens, even if other groups come in my way, I will still see you as my number one.

My wish is for you to have good health, more growth in terms of career as singer, emcee, host and artist. I also wish for your family and friend’s prosperity. I also wish for you to marry a woman who would really take care of you, see you only, and love you forever without excuses. Lastly, I wish that Super Junior would remain forever.

Again, thank you so much, sorry and I love you.


immortalsoul123 (Ana)

P.S. Here is my gift for you because you will always be my angel.




(MOD POST) Happy Birthday Kyuhyun!

To the person who brought me into tears whenever he sings…

To the person who made me laugh with his insolence to his hyungs…

To the person who inspired me to become better everyday…

To the person who introduced me to KPOP…

To the person who was my first ever bias…

Cho Kyuhyun, Happy birthday to you! 😀 Stay as awesome as you are. Don’t forget we’re always here for you.

Love you! 😀

(MOD POST) Happy Birthday, Kangin!

Wee! Our Kangking is celebrating his birthday today! Happy birthday, Kim Youngwoon!

We are always here with you. Thank you for being a Super Junior member, giving inspiration to a lot of people! Continue to live as you are, and don’t ever change! We love you just the way you are!

Thank you also for noticing our fansign last SS5 Manila. I love you, we love you!

For those of you who have Twitter, let us join in tweeting #HappyKanginDay and/or #HappyKangKingDay!

(MOD POST) Merry Christmas Everyone!

It’s Christmas! Merry Christmas!

First of all, I would like to thank you all for still sticking with me, even though I don’t post regularly anymore. I am quite surprised that some people are still following my blog! And I also am surprised because people are still reading my posts. I know it’s been awhile, and I am very sorry for that, because I become busy with work.

I want to thank a lot of people… even though they can’t read this… but still! It’s nice if I can post all I want to say here… Because I think… eventually, they will learn it’s me… Although I hope that it won’t happen because my posts are so random… so weird… so cheesy… etc.

Thank you God because you let Your Son live with us (well, the ancient people) on earth. I know he’s still here in our hearts. This day is especially for Him. Happy Birthday, Jesus!

Thanks to my family who has been here with me since I was born. Yeah, they might not be the most perfect family, but I really fit in. It’s nice to have them… my father, my mother and my sister. They are one of my reasons to smile and live everyday.

Thanks to my friends. I miss them, especially my best friends. Even though we don’t meet often, I am so happy that I can call them as friends. I am also thankful because they tolerate my bad behavior sometimes… hihi

Thanks to my office mates, especially to the people who believe in my abilities and talents, and also to the people who has become part of my work life since day one.

Thanks to all ELF and Starlights out there. You may not be the best for others, but you are the best for me! You are all so friendly and accomodating. Although there are times when we get so immature over petty things, I still think you’re the best fandomes that I have, and I really fit in. ELF, I know, some of us already met, and we eventually became friends, especially to my Failed Success and Woo Team family. We’ve been through tough times these year, but we enjoyed the comeback after 2 years of hiatus, right? I’ve never left the fandom… I just had two families, like Lee Jongsuk in Pinocchio, hehe. Let’s still fill the world with sapphire blue. Starlights, I am happy that I discovered another family. You all are very nice to me. Even though I am just a year-old Starlight, you still showed me that you were one of the peace-loving fandoms out there. I know VIXX is becoming popular nowadays that some feel that it becomes bad, hey, it doesn’t! I felt that too when Super Junior was growing, but the fact that SJ became happy when they were recognized, it made me accept other members of the family, and this is also what I think about VIXX. They are just starting their journey so I think it’s nice if we can grow together, right?

Thanks to shipping fandoms. I know. I know. We decreased in number because of what happened last last Saturday, but still, we are standing strong. I hope we continue… let’s just party in Atlantis, okay? Meanwhile, the other one, thanks for keeping me alive! Haha!

I have always been thankful to Super Junior and VIXX, the two most hardworking, most incredible, most amazing, most talented, dorkiest, craziest, and nicest groups on earth! Thanks for being my inspiration and making me believe that I can do it! I cannot express how much I love you both, because of you, I was able to become happy in darkest hours of my life. One song from each of you makes me change my mood all of a sudden. I am seriously telling my future children that I never regretted loving both of you! To Leeteuk, Heechul, Yesung, Kangin, Shindong, Sungmin, Eunhyuk, Donghae, Ryeowook, Kyuhyun, Zhoumi and Henry, thank you! To Hangeng and Kibum, I am still hoping although I don’t think it’ll happen again, but I need one more miracle from both of you. To N, Leo, Ken, Ravi, Hongbin and Hyuk, thank you! Rovix too. XD

To Heechul, thanks for making me laugh and question myself, because you’re so beautiful. Please find a girlfriend, or shall I find someone for you? Or shall I volunteer myself? Haha!

To Yesung, thanks for those selcas that kill my sister. Haha! Your awesome voice makes me happy, please continue to sing and please come back safely.

To Kangin, thanks for appreciating our fan project for you! I don’t think it failed, although only that section was able to lift the banner up, but still, thank you. Even though you don’t look at me during the concert, still, thanks! You are so handsome in person. Really the number one handsome guy!

To Shindong, thank you for being everyone’s friend and editing the videos. You are so awesome and talented. Be safe in the army and please come back safely too! We will be waiting for you.

To Sungmin, thanks for being one of my bias list ruiners. As the first married man in SJ, you have more responsibilities. But don’t forget ELF who loved and continues to love you. I will admit, you hurt me not because you married, but because of your childishness and carelessness. But you can still pay back by loving your wife and your future children. Always smile and please love us back too.

To Eunhyuk, you’re the best dancer! So thanks for being the vice leader while Teuk was not around. It’s been tough for you, and I know, you really are tired. But you continued to lead the group! Thanks for making me fall for your voice. Seriously. Hope you continue to strive for the better.

To Donghae, your typo errors and also your adorable personality make my day every time. So thank you for that. Take care of your girl~ And if possible, can you please marry Dara, please? Haha!

To Ryeowook, thanks for being there for the members, especially Sungmin. You’ve been so kind, and you were the kindest member. Haha! Thank you for everything. Hope you have a solo soon, too!

To Kyuhyun… thanks for that lovely album and songs! At Gwanghwamun is really the best song of the year and I really really love your voice! Thanks for being strong despite of the challenges that you experienced. I hope your family will be alright, and I also hope that you will stay strong. Don’t worry, alright?

To Zhoumi, thank you! You’re one of the people I am so thankful to, and you are very strong. You really love singing so you were given a solo! Rewind is really DAEBAK! I want to have an autograph from you someday… I really wanted to go to your fansign last time here in Manila with Super Junior M, but time didn’t let me. Someday, I’ll hug you too! And yeah, thanks for looking at my camera during the SS5 ending! I think you called Henry? XD

To Henry, thanks for being strong and musically talented. Your piano and violin skills are really amazing! I want to learn from you, music genius! Thanks for making me laugh, mochi!

To N, thanks for being a leader to VIXX. Without you, VIXX would not be the same. Thanks for being so patient, although you are given a lot of criticisms in different areas. I am still amazed at how you lead the group and how you responded. Job well done, Cha Leader! Also! I love your skin color. You might feel sad whenever your skin color is made fun of, but don’t worry, you’re still hot Cha Leader!

To Ken… thanks for ruining my bias list. Seriously. Your voice melts me everytime. Your dorky jokes make me laugh so bad, especially the dinosaur sound. Seriously. Seriously. AND YES! Thanks for tweeting those pictures! Hihihihihi you made my day and my whole Christmas. HAHA

To Ravi, thanks for standing up for your group and other idols. You might get bashed for it but what you did was really amazing and really brave. Your rapping skills are one of the best, that is why you are get recognized by it! I love your voice so much too, I hope you sing more ballad in the future too~

To Hongbin, thanks for smiling! Your smile makes me happy too. You’re such a happy virus. You are also the calmest person on earth. LOL Keep on smiling. You really look like my first love. HAHAHAH

To Hyuk, my son, thanks for every cuteness and manliness you had in you! Haha! You’re not used to being cute but still you manage to make me happy with your cuteness. Continue to be hardworking!

To Leo… THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR MAKING ME DIE EVERYTIME. HAHA! You are the most ideal of all the ideal man. I know you’re a chic outside but you’re warm and fuzzy inside. You’re so cute! Stop telling us you’re not because you are! But you are also manly! Haha! Thanks for making me happy. Thanks for your soothing voice that I really love. Continue to sing. I love you, my ideal man!

To Leeteuk… you don’t know how much I missed you. Now that you’re there… I can’t tell you how much I want to thank you. Thank you for being the best leader ever. You endured a lot of trials this year, and I am glad you made it. You asked yourself why it happened to you, and you even wanted to give up. But I am glad you didn’t. I am glad you didn’t do it… because it would seriously hurt me so much. I have been looking forward to see you again and if ever you did what you planned, I would be miserable. I act like I don’t care about you anymore, but deep inside my heart, I still do. I am thankful because you came to my life, and these sincere words are what I really wanted to say to you right at this moment. Don’t ever think that Christmas was something to forget, because it isn’t. This is a special day for me to say the things I want to say. Sorry if I was too attached to you, and even though I was trying not to be, I still am. It’s so hard but I guess it’s just how thing happens. I seriously don’t want to get involved with you or anything, and I want you to be happy by having a girl of your dreams. That girl must love you with all your heart and she should never leave you. Be sure first, okay? I want you to celebrate your Christmas with her and your family. Hopefully, you find one soon enough. Until then, I will still hold your hand and never let go. Sorry, thank you and I love you.

Thank you to my readers, especially those who are still following my posts. Thank you to the silent readers, those who comment, and also the spammers. Haha!

Lastly, thank you, the one who is reading this right now. I don’t know who you are, but I will find you and I will hug you.

Merry Christmas!

(MOD POST) Happy 9th Anniversary Super Junior!

It’s been 9 years. Wow… time really flies fast. It’s like, it was only November 6, 2005 when the twelve-membered group debuted. After some time, it became an official group with Kyuhyun’s addition. The boys with strange hairstyles, weird clothes and dorky attitude become men with oozing sex appeal and fun personalities. It is really significant.

To others who had not been in the fandom since the start, that includes myself, it was a pity that we weren’t able to start the journey… the ups and downs of this idol group turned inspirational icons turned legends of the Hallyu wave that took over all cities. Although it’s a shame, it is good that many stayed. Many left but then we are still happy here.

There was something about SuJu that made me fall in love with them. Usually, I won’t last for this long – I would have left SJ or the Kpop world. But there was something that held me back… most of the reason was Jungsoo… you know that. Overall… SJ played a significant role, until now, they still are.

No matter how they were bashed, mocked, insulted and no matter how people said they were not talented, they remained strong together as a team and a family. I am proud that I witnesses your journey and I will still go along the way.

Sorry, thank you, I love you Super Junior.