(MOD POST) Happy 12th Anniversary Super Junior!

It’s been a while since I last posted here in this blog. Last time I posted was on Jungsoo’s 35th birthday. The post was really long and a bit tiring to read, but I hope the people who read that message are also reading this post.

I’ll start this post by throwing back to the journey of the group.

November 6, 2005. A 12-member group released a track called Twins (Knock-Out). South Koreans were really curious about the first group who had a huge number of members. It raised some eyebrows and it definitely made both netizens and music critics watch out for this huge male group who would pass as either a choir or a dance troupe.

It was also noted that this 12-member group was an experimental group that was patterned by a Japanese Pop female group Morning Musume. Both groups were meant to have different members each year, based on a process called member-rotation. Thus, the Korean male group was named Super Junior ’05.

Super Junior ’05 consisted of Leeteuk and Heechul (83-liners), Han Geng and Yesung (84-liners), Kangin and Shindong (85-liners), Sungmin, Eunhyuk, Donghae and Siwon (86-liners), and Kibum and Ryeowook (87-liners). After Twins (Knock-Out), the group released another track called Miracle, which was a make-or-break for the group. This was only revealed to Leeteuk, the leader until sometime which might have had slipped from him and from other employees in SM. Everyone did a great job to film the MV despite the weather and other concerns. This song however did not become a mutizen song in South Korea, but it topped a chart in three consecutive weeks. Although it didn’t win 1st in any music shows, it was more of a hit than Twins in the international market, topping a chart in Thailand.

This song kept the group together from February to April 2006.

Little did they know, their fate would be sealed by the additional of the last member.

During the promotions of Miracle, SM Entertainment halted the recruitment of new members for Super Junior ’05, and made a decision to add another member, Kyuhyun (88-liner), to be part of Super Junior, then a permanent group.

Kyuhyun’s addition to the group was disapproved by majority of the fans and even majority of the members. This didn’t stop him from debuting with the group. He debuted in May 23, 2006 but performed only days after with the group with another single U. The song became the groups’ first successful song, winning 1st in music shows. The song also exceeded 1.7 Million Downloads and the physical single sold out around 80,000 units. Super Junior won the Best Newcomers Awards in Golden Disk Awards.

In August 2006, while travelling back to Seoul from Mokpo where he attended Donghae’s father’s funeral, Heechul was caught in a car accident, resulted in 8-hour surgery for his leg. This made him rest from the group activities for twelve weeks until he was discharged. He resumed in his individual activities after.

Other members’ individual career in acting, modeling and hosting came after as well.

The group also pioneered debuting sub-units in Korean groups. Super Junior KRY, consisted of the three main vocalists, Kyuhyun, Ryeowook and Yesung, debuted a day before the first anniversary, performing an official sound track entitled The One I Love.

Super Junior T or Trot debuted also in February 2007, releasing a very popular trot song Rokkugo which was also performed days after. This subgroup consisted of Leeteuk, Heechul, Kangin, Shindong, Sungmin and Eunhyuk.

Despite several achievements in their first year, the group encountered another very unfortunate event that almost took the life of the youngest member and other members.

On April 2007, after a radio show, Leeteuk, Eunhyuk, Shindong, Kyuhyun and their manager had a fatal vehicular accident, causing them to be hospitalized. Kyuhyun had surgeries which also affected his vocal chords that if wasn’t successful would have make him permanently quit singing.

While Kyuhyun were recuperating from his injuries, the group released a single, a remake of H.O.T.’s Happiness, which served as the comeback of the three other injured members. They also released a movie Attack on the Pin-Up Boys, which was the first movie produced and played by the a Korean Group. However, this did not become a hit in cinemas. Instead, the movie earned through DVDs released and movie sound track Wonder Boy became popular as well.

Due to successful surgeries and prayers, Kyuhyun went back to participate in Don’t Don, Super Junior 2nd Album that was supposed to be released in late 2006. The album was pushed forward a year after in September 2007.

The album received various reviews, but sold at least 160,000 copies. The group was nominated as Artist of the Year and won a Disk Bonsang for the album.

Super Junior debuted another subgroup, Super Junior M or Mandarin, which easily became the most successful subunit. The group was formed by then Super Junior members Han Geng, Siwon, Donghae, Ryeowook and Kyuhyun, and additional members Zhou Mi and Henry. They released their first mini-album Me, which paved the way to Chinese music market.

Despite SM Entertainment announcing that both Zhou Mi and Henry would not be added to the main group, fans still protested against the two SJ-M members, which lead to Only 13 protest. It was initially lead to Only13 Fans chanting to oust Henry during his solo violin performance in Don’t Don.

Only13 issue remained throughout as Super Junior T debuted in Japan, and another subgroup was formed, Super Junior H or Happy, consisting of Leeteuk, Yesung, Kangin, Shindong, Sungmin and Eunhyuk. The subgroup released an extended play of Cooking? Cooking! and performed in several live shows.

Super Junior also had another milestone when they had their first solo concert in Asia, Super Show 1 where they performed in South Korea, China and Thailand.

Super Junior’s career highlight came when they released the phenomenal Sorry Sorry in March 2009, which led to international fame not only in East Asia but other parts of Asia and Western countries. This album sold around 250,000 in Korea and became no. 1 album when released in various Asian countries. This led to winning the Grand Prize or Disk Daesang in Golden Disk Awards in 2009.

They also started their 2nd solo concert, Super Show 2, which they did not only perform in East Asia but also in South East Asia. Kibum did not perform in the concert however, he participated in promotional videos for the tour. He announced that he’d continue his acting career. His last participation was in It’s You, the title track of the repackaged album for Sorry Sorry.

Super Junior M also released another mini album, Super Girl, which became popular in several countries.

The group also performed for the first time in Japan without their official Japanese debut.

Several incidents challenged the group as Kangin was charged with driving under influence, resulting in temporary halt in all his activities and his participation with the group was questioned. After this incident, in December 2009, Han Geng filed a contract termination with SM Entertainment due to unlawful contract and mistreatment. Heechul did not participate in any group activities in three months due to his depression over Han Geng’s case.

Due to his issue, Kangin also enlisted to the mandatory military service, leaving the group with only ten members to participate in the next album, Bonamana. Heechul was able to participate in this album. With their increasing popularity, the fourth album outsold Sorry Sorry in Korea, selling over 300,000 copies and breaking chart records in Taiwan and other countries despite of mixed reviews in Korea.

The group continued to pursue their individual activities during the promotion until the third concert was announced. Super Show 3 sold out all seats in different countries. They also released a 3D movie for the concert, which eventually became one of the highest-grossing 3D movies in the country.

Super Junior also released a Japanese-version of the Bonamana in 2011.

The group also performed with other SM artists in America and in Europe. The media tagged them as Korean Pop Culture Icon, which gave birth to the word KPOP. They were also featured in CNN for their international success. Other countries also recognized Super Junior to be the leaders of the Hallyu Wave.

After the tour and several appearances worldwide, they released their 5th album, Mr. Simple, which sold more than 400,000 in Korea. They peaked at no. 3 in Billboard World Music Chart, in which the group was the first to chart. The track received positive response both locally and internationally, and won several no. 1 awards.

Heechul entered the military last September 2011 after the last week of promotion of Mr. Simple. They began their 4th solo concert tour, Super Show 4 without Heechul in several countries including France. They gathered 900,000 audience accumulated for all their tours.

With Mr. Simple, they won several awards, including the prestigious Album of Year award in Golden Disk Awards. They also won in Seoul Music Awards and Gaon Awards and other award shows.

In 2012, they released another album, the 6th album Sexy Free and Single before Leeteuk’s military service. The song ranked in iTunes Chart and Billboard World Album. Aside from this, they won the Hanteo award, selling more than 400,000 copies. After the controversy of SM with Mnet Asian Music Awards, the group first performed in the awards show and bagged the Album of the Year. Also, they bagged the Disk Daesang in Golden Disk Awards, making the group win 3 times, the biggest streak in the GDA history.

They also started their 5th solo concert tour, Super Show 5, which included Heechul who was just released in the military.

They did not only guest in music shows but also in Oxford to give a lecture.

The group’s promotion was brought into temporary halt when Leeteuk and Yesung enlisted for the military. The members concentrated in individual schedules and subgroups. Super Junior M released song Perfection and Break Down during the group hiatus. After Han Geng left the group, the subgroup included Eunhyuk and Sungmin to perform. The subgroup performed for the first time in Korean shows despite of the group’s primary language. Subgroup members Henry and Zhou Mi had their solo debuts as well.

Tragedy again happened as Leeteuk’s father and grandparents passed away while he was in the military service. The leader was given a break due to the incident.

Yesung also prepared to enter the military.

The group was back with another album, the 7th album entitled Mamacita, which became no. 1 in Billboard World Album chart. The song won several times in music shows. This was Super Junior’s first comeback album after 2 years hiatus and after Leeteuk and Heechul’s release from the military.

The group also announced Super Show 6 and had their 100th concert in Seoul. They easily became the first KPOP group that had 100 concerts worldwide and held concerts in several countries in South America.

Super Junior fans were shaken again with the news of Sungmin dating a musical actress, and after a few months, they announced that they were tying a not. Several fans protested and wanted Sungmin out of the group due to different reasons. However, it didn’t stop the group to continue its performances and concert with Sungmin. The group launched This Is Love – a special album.

Kyuhyun’s solo debut was also announced. At Gwanghwamun was released in November 2014 and immediately became a hit digitally, charting in several charts even months after its release. Kyuhyun won 1st in several music shows with the album.

A month after, Sungmin got married and received a lot of bashes from the fans. His marriage created a divide among ELF, either supporting his marriage or wanting him out of the group. Despite this, Sungmin continued to perform with the group until he was enlisted after Shindong.

Super Junior released another special album, Devil, for their 10th anniversary in 2015 before the 86-liners enlistment. Though received good feedback, the song didn’t win any award in Korea, but garnered recognition once again worldwide, peaking at no. 1 in 10 countries for iTunes, and became first in United World Charts.

Super Junior had their Super Show 6 Encore in Seoul for two days where they performed their songs in Devil album. Also, during these months, Kibum announced his departure from the group and SM Entertainment.

The group went into complete hiatus again as Eunhyuk, Donghae and Siwon went to their military service after releasing Magic, a repackaged track for Devil.

Solo albums from Super Junior KRY, who also had tours in Japan and in Korea, were released within 2 years of hiatus. It was not only it. SM Entertainment introduced Label SJ, which granted the group to an exclusive management.

After 2 years of hiatus, the group announced their comeback or the 7th album named Play, the first group comeback handled by Label SJ. However, it was debated again, after 2 years, if Sungmin and Kangin would be included in the comeback. After much deliberation and protests from some K-ELF, Sungmin decided not to participate in the comeback, and Kangin was also tagged as inactive.

Despite this, Super Junior kept on providing their fans all the best. During the promotional period for Play, they had V-Live daily episodes and participated in most variety. They also pre-released One More Chance MV which was composed by Donghae. The video was well-loved, garnering 6.5M views in less than 6 days and around 600,000 likes.

The group’s comeback was challenged again when Siwon was put in a controversy about his dog biting someone, resulting in a complication that caused his death. With this, it was decided that Siwon would not participate in the promotion in TV shows.

Today, in Super Junior’s 12th anniversary, they will release the much anticipated Play album, where they will release the whole album digitally and the Music Video at 6PM KST.

Now that we are done throwing back, let me give my message to them.

Super Junior, as we throwback, I hope we can see that we have been here through ups and downs, and this just made us last longer and became stronger. And we are really thankful for your existence in our lives. Most of us grew up with you, some left, and some went back, but the most important thing is that despite this, at one point, there will always be a Super Junior in their hearts and they’ll keep coming back. There is no guarantee that they will stay, but we are definitely sure that most of us will still be here regardless.

You will always be my no. 1. I may look at others, but in my heart, you will always be holding a huge place. Thank you, sorry and I love you all.

 

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(RP) False Alarm

LMAO I seriously panicked about that.

Although I’ve considered it too but… it’s a bit impossible, I guess?

It’s better to make sure. I learned because of the things that happened recently. It pays off to be always sure of everything before assuming or saying something.

And yes, I think I’ll be keeping this blog alive for a little bit. Everytime I want to pour my heart out, I would… because things are stressing me lately.

(MOD POST) Happy Birthday Park Jungsoo! @special1004

Dear Jungsoo,

I know you won’t be able to read this, but I’ll still take my chances. Happy 35th birthday to you! I emphasized your age because I wanted you to know that it’s my birthdate. LOL!

Sorry for the lack of preparation because I’ve been busy these past few weeks, but never did I forget about writing you a letter for your birthday. Last year, do you remember that I wrote and composed a song for you? I know that you were not able to listen to it but still, I am proud because it’s my first ever composition. You must be so proud. And one day, you’ll be able to hear it. This year, well, I’m writing a long letter because it’s how we like it, right? Hehe. I wasn’t able to prepare a lot for this year; things happened, but it’s the thought that counts, right?

How do I start this? Hmm… I don’t really know how to begin. My mind is blank as of this moment, but I know in my heart that I have a lot of things to say to you. I think, the first one is that… I want to thank you for the inspiration for the past eight years. I must admit that you are not the most perfect person on the planet, and I even bash you at times (jokingly, of course), but I don’t know… it’s just that I am so infatuated with you. I just love you for who you are. I disliked the mistakes that you did in the past, the tweet that you erased which was really, really painful, you know? It’s the first tweet that I’ve ever cried my heart out. Haha! And the things that you said that really hurt me and other fans as well. But guess what – I still love you. I do think that you poisoned me with your charms, whatever your charms are. I do think that it’s about your sincerity, your honesty and your passion that made me stay by your side all these years.

I thank you for being the leader of Super Junior. A friend to each member. I believe that you’re friends with all of them. Yes, you’re close with other members more, but I really believe your heart is with all of them. You may disagree with them at times, or even have conflicts, petty or deep, but you still love them. If not, would you still be a Super Junior member? Would you be a Super Junior leader? You could be an emcee and/or a host, because you’re best at that. You’re not the best singer nor dancer in the group yet you chose to be Super Junior. It’s one of your admirable traits – the reason why I fell for you in the first place. The reason that made me say that – this is my favorite person – my ultimate bias, my love, my ideal person, my heart, my soul, my sky. I thank you for being so strong for the group despite of the obstacles that you are facing right now.

I know that you’re also doubting yourself, or doubting about things in general. It happens, and I do not blame you for that. I know at times that you don’t want to continue, that you want to give up on some things. Thank you for making sacrifices – even if it was not for your own happiness. Sometimes I wish that you just take that path and no matter what decisions you’ll make, no matter what you want to do, no matter what you think, I will forever support you.

When you were in the army, you’ve been through a lot. I didn’t initially want to mention this, but I want to prove one point that I am also thankful for. I don’t know, and I will never know how much you suffered that time. I don’t know why also, but I have an idea. I will never know your feelings. I will never know what you think. I will never probably experience your grief. It was the perfect way to give up, for some – but I sincerely thank you for not giving up. Not giving up on life is your best gift to me. I can’t promise that I will be physically there – God knows I want to, but we’re star-crossed. We’re friends, virtual friends – and you don’t know me. But I want to protect you. I won’t say that I will protect you no matter what it takes – I can’t do that. But I promise you that I’ll protect you in any way that I can. It’s my payback for you not giving up on life.

I have a lots of things to thank you for, but I cannot tell everything at once – so I just want to say thank you for everything.

I also have a lot of things to say sorry to you. You were not my first favorite member in Super Junior, but you remained the longest. You like loyal people, right? Hehe! I don’t know if I am still considered loyal after liking other groups aside from Super Junior, despite of the fact that I promised you that I won’t love anyone else but you and Super Junior. I am sorry for that. I am sorry for holding you back. I am a fan and I know that being one of your fans, even if you don’t know me at all, I am still one of the reasons why you’re holding something back.

I also wish for you to become healthy always. You’ve been overworking yourself, and I know that you are a workaholic who works even during vacation. If that’s what you happy then I’ll support you for that, but please take care of yourself. Take care of your health. I don’t know what I’ll do if you do not take care of yourself or if anything bad happens to you. I know fans and friends and loved ones won’t like it too.

Do not change just because people want you to change. Please change only if you want to change – change positively for yourself. I don’t honestly care if you’re different from Leeteuk – the man in front of the camera, the man in front of the fans, the leader of Super Junior. People love you for who you are. Do not doubt about that.

Please do not take what the haters say to heart. We are your barriers so just look at us. Do not look outside your barriers. We are your friends, your family. We got your back, your front and your side.

All I really want is your happiness. You cannot always be happy, but I wish you to be happy most of the time. Whatever things would make you happy – I’m for it.

Lastly, I wish that you remain the same person with so many dreams and with a strong will to achieve those dreams, the person who works hard to achieve those dreams.

It’s kind of funny, because I still don’t know how I feel about you because it’s been so long. At times I do think that I love you as a person, and as a man, but I don’t think it’s the case because as I mentioned before, maybe I was just in love with Leeteuk, and not Jungsoo – your true self. But whether you are Leeteuk or Jungsoo, or whatever people call you, I still love you for you. I will continue to do so. I will continue to hold your hand and never let go because even if people come, it’s still you.

Again, happy birthday to you! Hope you have a great day, the best leader, my ultimate crush, my Sky, Park Jungsoo! I love you very much.

(RP) Our Journey Back to South Korea

Unknown to most people, except those who followed me and my tweets in Twitter and Facebook live, my sister and I went back to South Korea a week before. We celebrated our birthday together there. Only the two of us went there; it’s a surprise that our parents actually let us travel together alone.

It was my sister’s eighteenth and my twenty-fourth birthday exactly last week.

The decision to go to SK was so sudden, but the trigger point was the schedule of Ken’s musical, which was, fortunately, during our plan of stay. A lot of things happened first before we could actually submit all the requirements and buy the round trip tickets. But for only three weeks of preparation, we decided to finally go.

Actually, I planned to make an itinerary but I was too busy lately. Work was tough, and even my physical and emotional states were not okay. It’s a good thing that I was able to take a journey to South Korea as a breather. Almost no one in the office knew that I went to South Korea, except when I was already there. Because of all the Facebook Live streaming that I did, they finally found out.

Our first night was, well, exhausting. Although we arrived at the airport ten minutes earlier than our scheduled time, we took at least an hour finding our way out, including the immigration, money exchange and the retrieval of baggage. Incheon International Airport was really huge.

We also looked for the stall where we borrowed a pocket WiFi which was already prepaid before the trip. I actually thought that the data was unlimited. It turned out that we only had 1 GB per day. So back home I face-palmed myself so hard because I knew I used a lot of data for my FB Live.

We also struggled to withdraw from the Global ATM. I had tried withdrawing for about three times before I was able to withdraw some money from Woori Bank. Back in the PH, I actually forgot to withdraw so I hoped to do it in South Korea. However, I almost panicked when my card did not work using Shinhan ATM. Then I tried to withdraw from Woori Bank and fortunately, it was granted.

Anyway, we took the airport limo 6002. We waited for about 20 minutes before we got in, and after an hour and a half, we reached our hostel. It was almost twelve in the midnight and it was so cold – we were only wearing a sweater and a jacket/coat, so we felt freezing, especially when we struggled to walk to find our hostel.

We stayed at Hostel Beige 2nd at Dongdaemun. The hostel was great, clean, and it was really close to the airport limo station, restaurants, shops and convenience stores. The staff there were also friendly; even trying to accompany us during our stay. Upon our arrival, we decided not to go out anymore so we just stayed there.

The next day, we went to Lotte World through the subway. I’ve always found Seoul’s subway convenient. At first, we forgot to buy some T-Money cards so we went to a convenience store, thanks to the concerned citizen who thought us how to. Well, we had already used the subway and the card before but the card was provided by a host before, so we were not able to experience buying it somewhere else. Loading it was a breeze though, because we had already experienced that during our first time in SK.

We actually arrived there at lunch time because we were too tired to go out of the hostel. I knew it was not wise to go to other country only for four days without making use of all the time that we had, but we still did. That was the only itinerary that we had that day. We went to the Lotte World Adventure, rode some rides, ate at Lotteria and a Japanese restaurant and basically we did some sight seeings. We shopped for some clothes in the underground mall and heard The Closer played there.

Again, we took the subway despite my sister’s request to take the cab instead – because it was expensive.

On that night, we celebrated our birthday two times – one at 12am KST, then 12am PST. Haha!

The next day, we went early to Myeongdong Cathedral to attend the mass since it was our birthday and also it was Sunday. We got late at the 9am mass where English mass was celebrated, so we contemplated if we’d attend the next mass instead. We found a lot of foreigners though during our visit so we decided to attend the mass in Korean. Basically, it had the same program as our mass in the PH, so we were not struggling to adjust.

After the mass, we went to Myeongdong underground mall to shop and also to find Mom’s House Cafe. And we successfully did! But because we were too hungry, we went to Loco Quan restaurant across the street instead. The pork was delicious, and there were a lot of celebrities went there. Congrats Haha! Your restaurant rocks!

Anyway, after the meal, we went to Hongik Daehakro Art Center for Ken’s musical. Again, we were late to actually see Jaehwan coming, so we waited for our schedule instead at 2pm. I will make a separate post about it later. But overall, I think Jaehwan did really well!

The theater was actually a station away from our hostel, but we decided to go back to Myeongdong instead of going back to the hostel.

Then we went to Mom’s Cafe and stayed there for at least an hour, drinking green tea and also buying a slice of cake for our birthday. We stayed and listened to Kyuhyun’s song, and watched Kyuhyun’s video. It was indeed very cozy and comfortable. I liked the place so much.

We shopped across the steet for my family’s requested stuff and also for pasalubong. After that, we ate dinner at Hongbar, where we were served unli-meat and was a kind of buffet restaurant. The first serving was too many for us so we didn’t go for a second round, also leaving a plate of unconsumed meat.

The next day was our last day. We checked out at the hostel and left our luggage there. We had our brunch at Lotteria again then went to go to the entertainment companies. First, we went to Apgujeong for Jellyfish Entertainment. It was a long walk, even after when we get back to the train station. We passed by the company awkwardly because normal people were looking at us lol. We were not able to stay because there was literally no fans waiting outside, so we just recorded an FB live for about five minutes, snapped some photos and that’s it.

I swear, I could have seen Hana of Gugudan but I was not quite sure if it was her because the person was wearing sunglasses and had her hair tied and was talking to the phone. But she looked exactly like her. I almost danced to Na Gateun Ae to confirm. Haha!

Anyway, we then went back to the station and after being lost, we were able to go to Apgujeong Rodeo. Upon alighting the train, we went to the lobby and saw Got7 standees! Of course, I took a photo of my fave members. Then we went out and saw the Gangnam dolls. Again, this was mostly FB live so… The cold wind at -2 to -5 degrees Celcius greeted us.

Then, we went to SM Entertainment and snapped a photo of it, then FB live. Like in Jellyfish, we didn’t stay for too long, because it was awkward, although there were some fans who went after us too and took photos too. There was no one around except the construction ahjussi who asked us to move because there was a construction beside SMEnt. So we went to JYP Entertainment. I swear, because it was too near SMEnt, SM and JYP artists may date secretly around the area.

Out of all three companies that we visited, I think, we stayed in JYP the longest, because there were fans waiting outside, and there was a Dunkin Donuts outside too. We snapped a photo and of course, FB Live again. After ordering from Dunkin Donuts, we decided to go since our flight was at 9:30 and we had to be at the airport by at least 7:30. We went back to our hostel by 5 pm and decided to leave, however, our host talked to us about a lot of things and it took us 1 hour.

We left and waited for the airport limo to arrive. After 20 minutes, it arrived and we reached the airport by 8pm and checked in right after. Seeing the airport photos of Kyuhyun, we knew that we were too late, and also N was there. We took our chances to look for him but found out that his plane had arrived about five minutes during our check in so we failed to see him too.

That was when it got nerve-wrecking. At 8:10pm, we returned the pocket WiFi. At 8:15pm, we looked for a restaurant where we could eat dinner and found one by 8:20pm. We ordered the usual food and ate as fast as we could and by 8:45pm, we finished eating. Because we could not just run after eating a meal, we decided to rest and went to the security gate by 8:50pm. For ten minutes, we lined up so that the security could check our bags. We were still at the security at 9:00pm. My heart started to beat fast because the gate would close by 9:10pm. Because I was held longer due to the coins that they found in my bag, and my laptop that was inside the bag, it took us another 5 minutes. It’s already 9:05pm when I passed the immigration. My sister and I ran as fast as we could. We ran passing two huge escalators, with me holding my laptop, coat, watch and bag. Gladly, the train was already there when we arrived so we entered it. It was already 9:10pm and I swear, my heart was going to explode because of either restlessness or nervousness or tiredness. We ran up the escalators again, despite people blocking our way. Good thing, the gate where we would be entering was a minute walk only from the escalators. We went down the escalator again to gate 119. When we arrived, we were already called for the last call. We almost shouted present and thank God, we made it on time!

The flight was delayed; my throat was drying, but we finally made it inside the plane.

It was the longest 12 minutes of my life.

So after a few minutes, we bid South Korea goodbye. It was fun, although I wasn’t able to see Jungsoo – but I got to see Jaehwan in person (and Hongbin in a standee, VIXX, Heechul in a poster, Heechul and Kyuhyun in the TV, Gugudan in the TV also).

I am looking forward to coming back again.

(RP) How I Wish

How I wish I could stay in love with you for the longest time. But I feel like I am drifting away from you. It’s just tiring that I do everything for you but you never do anything back.

I should have known better.

Sadly, I can’t love you the way I loved you before.

March 1, 2016

I am generally a weak person who tries to get stronger everyday. I cry over a lot of petty things too and no matter how I tell myself to become stronger, I just can’t take it.

My heart wants to burst and once it is settled, it will just become numb. I like that to happen.

I am seriously sick of keeping my feelings and prentending that I am okay and that I don’t really care about everything that they are telling me. I am aa good actress and I don’t want that.

I just hope that people won’t be biased. Even if it really isn’t what it is, it is what it is shown. I hope that I won’t be put into the limelight too often. I hate that.

February 29, 2016

Dear Leeteuk,

You don’t know how much I’m being thankful to you… for your existence, for everything. Seeing your photos remind me of the past when I was still starting to get to know you and the group. I don’t know why but these photos of you, whether you are smiling or crying, make me emotional that I want to cry.

I don’t know why I am still longing for you and how I can recover from my insanity… but I think someday… I will eventually do so. For now, I want you to be my inspiration to get up everyday.

Despite of not seeing you personally, I still want you to know that I am trying to go to you. Even for another time… Even from afar, I wish to see you again.

I am hoping and I will never lose hope. Someday… I will see you again.

(RP) A Bit

I can’t seem to sleep nowadays. There are times when I feel really tired but sleep is what I needed.

I was near to collapsing hours ago so I went home earlier. It was kind of scary but I think it would be better. At least to rest for an hour or two.

Such mess.

(RP) 6 Years of Love

It has been six years (and 3 days, actually) since I became a Jungsoo biased ELF.

There have been many ups and downs, many happiness, sadness, anger, excitement and other roller coaster feelings as I stan Leeteuk. I have confessed my love for him so many times even though it won’t be reciprocated. I even declared that he was not my bias anymore during those six years. But no matter what, no matter how many KPOP groups and members came, it is still Leeteuk. 🙂

Dear Jungsoo,

I will go on and never let go of your hand until you ask me to.

I love you! 😘

(RP) December 17, 2015

It is what it is. No matter what, it’s how it works. But don’t take viewers or readers lightly. They know. It is just that they keep quiet or pretend that they don’t.

I know. And I understand. I don’t pretend because it is what it is. I know, because I’ve learned to see the truth just by looking at the lies.

I am a pretty good judge of character.