Long time no post.
I told myself that I wouldn’t post any RP’s anymore but I can’t help it.
…I am imagining myself becoming a wife and mother to my future family.
It sucks… I imagine that person as my husband. That we would have three kids. One of them would be a girl and the two would be boys. Keo Marcus and Christian Hamish would be the name of the boys and for our daughter, it would be Amary Gae… I imagine a wonderful life with him.
But I know it can’t happen.
I don’t deserve someone like him. Nor he deserves someone like me. I know, I am not like the person he likes. I am not the person he would like. I can’t fall in love again with the person who can’t be mine.
I want to give it a try but… I am afraid to get hurt. I would rather get hurt now that it’s still unclear. I am the type of person who hopes and dreams so bad that I tend to misunderstand.
I think I am special but I know that I am just another girl who has feelings for him.
As much as my bestfriend tells me to stop building a wall and close my heart for possibilities, I would still do it because I don’t want to get hurt.
I want to get asked for a date. I want someone to care for me and look only at me. I want someone to tell me the words I need to hear. I want someone who would spend his days with me. I want someone to propose to me and to ask me for marriage.
But I know it wouldn’t be him.