(RP) I Still Want To Be…


Long time no post.

I told myself that I wouldn’t post any RP’s anymore but I can’t help it.

…I am imagining myself becoming a wife and mother to my future family.

It sucks… I imagine that person as my husband. That we would have three kids. One of them would be a girl and the two would be boys. Keo Marcus and Christian Hamish would be the name of the boys and for our daughter, it would be Amary Gae… I imagine a wonderful life with him.

But I know it can’t happen.

I don’t deserve someone like him. Nor he deserves someone like me. I know, I am not like the person he likes. I am not the person he would like. I can’t fall in love again with the person who can’t be mine.

I want to give it a try but… I am afraid to get hurt. I would rather get hurt now that it’s still unclear. I am the type of person who hopes and dreams so bad that I tend to misunderstand.

I think I am special but I know that I am just another girl who has feelings for him.

As much as my bestfriend tells me to stop building a wall and close my heart for possibilities, I would still do it because I don’t want to get hurt.

I want to get asked for a date. I want someone to care for me and look only at me. I want someone to tell me the words I need to hear. I want someone who would spend his days with me. I want someone to propose to me and to ask me for marriage.

Someday…

But I know it wouldn’t be him.

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