I guess soulmates are not really the person that you will end up with… it’s more on, that person has the same experiences, talents, likes and dislikes as you… therefore, that person is the one who understands what you feel because even if you’re not the same person, you are still connected by these characteristics that are similar to you.
I personally think that I’ve found my soulmate already… although he doesn’t know, and a lot of people might misjudge me. I guess, everything really happens for a reason. Knowing him even if we really haven’t talked with each other is really something that is destined to happen.
I feel that Lee Sungmin’s my soulmate. Haha. This is not a product of delusions – I’ve been erasing it from my system.
Why Sungmin? There is a reason why I don’t want others to insult or say bad things towards him. I don’t want to hear negative things about him, and I myself do not tell jokes that may imply something negative about him. You might think, how about Leeteuk? Yes, I don’t want him to be hurt too or to receive bad comments, but I myself give bad comments about him… Well, I just keep it inside my head, or sometimes, even if I let it out, I make sure that it’s not beyond my limitations. But for Sungmin, I never give bad comments about him nor call him names or whatnot even if it’s only a joke. I really get emotional and defensive about him and I even cried because of those negative comments about him.
There are a lot of similarities… I don’t usually let others know how I feel especially if I’m hurting, or if I do, it’s just when everything is already bottled up in my heart that I really need to let it out. I care about others a lot, but I never or seldom receive care from others. I am always beside my friends if they need me, but I’ll just be left out. There may be two or more people who cares about him but he thinks that it is not enough. I also feel the same. He thinks that there is always something wrong about him that others don’t want him to be someone’s most important friend, or lover or whatnot, except for his parents and sibling. I usually think that it is always the case for me. He has a lot of friends, but no one has ever treated him as the most special friend. He has so many talents, yet he thinks he doesn’t exceed in any of those talents and he feel that there is someone better than him. I also have a lot but I feel that I don’t know what I really want to do. He’s always insecure about others who are better than him and he tries to compare himself to them. I also am like that. He is strong on the outside but weak in the inside, showing a cheerful smile although he feels sad or betrayed or alone. That is my feeling.
I might be wrong, and maybe, it’s not his real personality, but I have a strong instinct. I have a talent to read person’s personality based on first impressions. It rarely has mistakes.
I feel that when he is being
mocked, I am also mocked. I don’t want him to experience that because I see myself in his position. I don’t want to be betrayed and to be alone. No person does but a lot just endure it.
Oh well, maybe I’ll just stick to my delusion.