(RP) For Some Reason…


For some reason I hate someone right now. No… I think, it is more on… how to put this, I am jealous of how he favors others over us. That feeling when you are irritated at someone for not doing what you wish for. I’ve been asking him for his attention but I have that feeling that he really doesn’t like us. This is too much for me to bear… and this is too much because he is special to me.

I never hear him be proud of what we did. Maybe once. Maybe he mentions it once in a while but it is just so unfair because we have also the same experience at others. Compared to others, he usually becomes proud of them. OVER AND OVER AGAIN. It’s only about the same thing!

He favorites another. It can’t be helped. It is better if he doesn’t mention a name or anything… AT ALL. Or it is better if he remains silent. I can bear not seeing him talk.

Damn, it is not really nice because he is special to me. But he never gives us importance AT ALL. Well, maybe because we’re from Pluto, or from yet to be discovered place/planet.

Ang akin lang naman kasi eh sana bigyan mo kami ng halaga. Kasi binibigyan ka namin, sila ng halaga eh. Sobra-sobra na nga kung tutuusin. Pero hindi mo napapansin yun. Kami rin, pinipilit namin magbulag-bulagan dahil baka masabihan mo kami ng kung anong masama imbes na maganda. Minsan kasi bulag ka na sa material things.

Nangyari rin naman sa amin yun. Mas madalas pa nga. Mas maraming beses na. Mas maraming nasaktan sa amin. Pero ni minsan hindi kita nakitang nag-alala.

Napipilitan ka lang naman yata eh. Well, sa totoo lang, talagang napilitan ka lang. Ikaw na mismo nagsabi noon. Akala mo lang wala lang sa amin yun pero sa totoo lang, kasing pait na kami ng ampalaya. Hindi naman masyadong malaki ang hinihiling namin eh. Sinabi mo na kaya niyo lang yun ginawa kasi may nangungulit sa inyo. Sakto, NAPILITAN. Noong umpisa, nag-fail kami. Akala ko, dahil we were better for the second time around, we would be able to please you. Pero wala! Wala man lang comment! Meron nga, isa, pero biglang dugtong ng ibang topic na sigurado akong yun talaga ang gusto mong pag-usapan.

Hindi mo ba alam kung gaano ko iniyakan ang bagay na yun kahit na labag sa kalooban ko? Masyado kasi akong nag-expect. Ikaw lang naman ang gusto kong magsabi nun, sa kanila. Dun ka naman magaling di ba? Akala ko ba naiisip mo ang lahat? Bakit parang iisa lang ang nasa isip mo?

Kahit nga siguro nandito ka, limot ka pa rin eh.

I am really tired of fighting for you. YOU DON’T EVEN SHOW THAT YOU CARE. I’m bitter, yes. Kasi nga nananadya ka nga yata. Masyado na ba kaming demanding para sa iyo? Siguro nga. Isang beses lang naman ang hinihiling namin. Nakakapagtampo ka na kasi. Nasasaktan rin ako kapag sinisisi ka nila, akala mo ba?

Sabihin mo na akong kulang sa pansin. Hindi lang naman ako. Tandaan mo, we’re doing almost everything for you. Pero you never appreciate it. Bakit nga ba malaki pa rin ang utang na loob ko sa iyo kahit na ganito ang nararamdaman ko? Bakit hindi kita kayang kalimutan?

Wala naman siguro akong magagawa kundi maghintay eh. Nakakapagod lang kayang maghintay.

Only months to go, Ana… Kaunting tiis na lang. Malalaman mo rin ang hinanakit ko sa iyo. At hindi mo pa rin ito mababasa.

P.S. Pero eto pa rin kami. LALO NA AKO.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s