I think it really feels painful when someone who is special to you does not trust in you. Solely by thinking that I am special, I’m sorry. I’m sorry if I can’t be assured of everything that you do. It’s not that I don’t trust you. I do, that’s why I learn to like you for who you are. But it’s just that I can’t – or I don’t – trust IN you because of your status in life. You are trained not to show your true feelings in front of others. I don’t know when you are telling the truth or lying. Do you even know how I feel? I don’t really trust people easily. I want to have an assurance first in order for me to trust someone. And feelings do not count. Trust doesn’t really rely on feelings alone. Maybe this is just my way to know what you think about things. I want to catch you in the act, whether you’re telling the truth or lying. It’s a part of how I see you as a person. It’s a part of contemplating if I should myself in trusting you. I don’t want to look like a fool. I know you don’t want it either. It is yet for me to discover. Soon enough. If I see you face to face. If you look me eye-to-eye and tell me that you are serious about it.
Geez, thinking about these things stresses me. For being delusional enough to think that you care about me, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.