(RP) 제발…


감정 어떻게 표현해야 될지 모르겠다…

더 좋은 사람이 생겨서 그만 만나자고 그랬거든. 근대 그 사람이 날 좋아해줄지가 제일 걱정이야.

만약 너도 나랑 같은 생각이라면, 내 곁에 있어줘…

***

Random… 😐 Just writing (or copying) what I feel now…

Even I don’t know what’s happening to me. I rarely spazz about Leeteuk these days… Maybe… I’m readying myself when he goes to the army. I hate this feeling…

I don’t know why I’m even thinking about changing biases or something. I mean… It’s not Leeteuk’s fault that I, somehow, pay attention to someone else. It’s not also like I want to change biases because he’s leaving for a mean time.

I don’t like giving up. I don’t want to give up my ‘feelings’ for him because whenever I see an Leeteuk-biased ELF, I get insecure or something. I really am grading myself how I am doing as an Leeteuk biased. I get really jealous of people who is willing to give her everything for him. Of course, I am not that type of person. I hope he understands this… but of course he won’t because who and what am I compared to his thousands of fans all over the world who are actually better and more loyal than me. He won’t because he doesn’t even know I exist.

I don’t want to name the bias list ruiner, that’s what I call the bias list ruiner. But I think if we are close, or if you are following me on Twitter, then you will know who I’ve been referring to. Honestly, he is everywhere. My Twitter, my laptop, Facebook, Tumblr, and everywhere else. Yeah, he’s Lee Sungmin. Maybe I am following too much Ming-biased people.

My friends knew that I treat him as my second bias after Leeteuk, that’s why they are giving me pictures of him. And now… even though he’s not doing anything, he just appears in my dashboard and suddenly I’d spazz about him. But when Leeteuk appears in my dashboard, I will just go like this, “Oh, it’s Leeteuk. Like or reblog. Next. Ooh, Sungmin! SPAZZ!”

Honestly… I don’t want them both to be on top of my bias list, as my friend suggests. It’s like a heart. I can’t slice it into half for two people. I can only love one – that is, extremely. It shall only be one.

Tsk. Ooh the drama. Here we go again. Maybe I’m just taking these things way too seriously. When Leeteuk goes to army, I promise to use that time to stay away from this, or take things lightly.

Actually, I’m starting it now; it’s not just seen. XD

***

The test went well this afternoon. I was able to finish it in an hour… but then, I was late in enrollment… Good thing my friend enrolled me. I’m thankful of her. Although my schedule was not followed… I got a three-hour break. 😦 I got an eight o’clock class every Thursday. 😦 Tuesday and Friday, 9:40. Monday, one o’clock.

My problem are… the photoshoot, the survey, the readings, the assignments, the papers, the group report. 😦

Segway, I saw my ex-crush when I was walking. We almost bumped, but I pretended that I didn’t see him (landi). I noticed that he was as tall as me now. I mean, I grew taller! =)) I knew it. I grew taller by two inches! Hehe.

Anyway, goodnight. I decided not to go to the album launch tomorrow. Maybe I can do more productive work tomorrow, like reading, etc.

I can buy album later though. 😀

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