(RP) Not Fulfilling My Promise


Warning: EMO POST AND CHEESY POST AHEAD

I said I won’t write in my blog for 40 days but…

I suddenly missed Teukie. FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THE HISTORY OF MY LIFE.

So I just wanted to write this here.

***

I don’t like people who think that someone is theirs even if they don’t own him. Calling someone “he is mine”, “My <insert name here>”, “<insert name here> loves me and I love him too.” These things. I can’t understand why…

I sometimes do this, for the sake of trying, and I feel so awkward…

Even if I like/adore/crush (? – LOL) Teukie and such, I won’t even bother to call him mine, because he is not mine. Hehe.

Or maybe I’m just jealous of the people who can imagine or think that someone is theirs.

Deep inside I want to call Teukie mine. “My Teukie, is so cute.” “My Jungsoo is a failure.” “My Leeteuk is nice and is the best person I’ve ever known.” Like this… but… I feel that I shouldn’t.

***

I watched “Catch Me, I’m in Love.” It wasn’t as good as the movies I liked but I’ll admit that it caught my heart. It was cheesy all through out. And it made me squeal inside the movie house. Well, I was spazzing with my cousins and all the people inside the theatre. Haha. So I was not alone.

Typical story. The guy is the president’s son, and the girl is just an ordinary woman. They fell in love because the guy changed because of her, and the girl realized that he was not as arrogant as she knew. Then they had a relationship. The problem wasn’t on the guy’s side, because his parents approved of her. But the girl felt so much insecurities because she kept on dragging herself down because she was only an ordinary person. The people disliked her. And she got pressured because of the guy’s fame. So the girl broke up with him even if they were still in love.

But in the end… they got back together again.

I imagined Leeteuk and me. LOL. This is embarrassing but… yeah. What if he was the guy and I was the girl? Will it happen to me as well? He’s famous and there are lots of people for him. Will I feel pressured or something? Will we also have a happy ending?

Probably not, because it won’t really happen in real life. There is 1/1234567890987654321 chance.

It’s just my imagination though… Haha. Everyone is free to dream, right?

Besides… there are lots of people who dream about this.

But from now on, I’ll be more practical. If I’m to love, I want him to feel the same way as I am to him, and he must also do his part. I don’t want to sacrifice, just for the sake of… him being loyal to me. Because I am not as loyal as others. Sometimes it’s really nicer to look at others and when you do it, and you come back to the person you love, then you’ll proudly say that you did it. You still are loyal to the person you love and that you’ll never give up on loving him. This is my definition of being loyal.

***

I’m jealous of someone I knew. She is will to do anything for Teukie… but I can’t do such things for him. I am not that kind of person. I am afraid that being a fan, I am not doing my part.

***

There. I’m stopping now. I want to do my schoolworks so that they will be finished in no time. Haha.

Goodnight. Sorry for the long post. A boring one too.

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